"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
