Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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