I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize
