I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
