on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
