I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
