Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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