I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
