Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dicks are not precious.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
