it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
