apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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