i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
