goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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