Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
