Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am midnight drunk by noon
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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