Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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