he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
