I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You can't motorboat a personality
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
