His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
