these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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