i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
