We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's the barista slut.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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