everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
