we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
