At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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