he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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