he was CRYING into my vagina
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
