Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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