my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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