you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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