Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
