so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
