Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
