My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
