wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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