we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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