Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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