Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
