Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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