wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
