So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I checked into jail on foursquare
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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