Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I believe in your delicious
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
