Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
