Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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