i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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