Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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