i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
