I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
