just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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