I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
