Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
