i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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