I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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