Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
