Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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