So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
