I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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