I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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