They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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